hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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