omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
