Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
