tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
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