so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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