Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
