apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
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At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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