She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
