do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
