she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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