They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Randomize
