I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Randomize