I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
