Having a random hookup so left but love u
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
