i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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