I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
