Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
