If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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