two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
