i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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