Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Randomize
