I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
