id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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