Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
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