I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
