I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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