We're facebook friends in real life
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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