i just wanna soil my oats bro
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
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