you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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