I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize
