corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
