Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
