True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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