She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
