he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
