Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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