No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
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