I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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