I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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