I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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