ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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