There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Randomize
