Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
