Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
