i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
