Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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