Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
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