they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
