It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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