Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
