If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Randomize
