TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
