We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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