When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
