what day is it and did you see me today?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
