Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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